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How sewing saves me

Sew Mariefleur How Sewing Saves Me

Some blogs are meant to be very personal, others are not. Sew Mariefleur is usually all about sewing. I want my personality to shine through, I don’t want to create a fake picture of me and my life, but I also have no intentions of putting my whole life out there.

Today I’m making an exception – I want to show you what sewing, blogging and the indie sewing community means to me and how I basically feel saved by it. And I really want to encourage those of you out there who might struggle with things in your everyday life.

Sew Mariefleur How Sewing Saves Me

A while back I read an article in Seamwork Mag written by Nicki Taylor, who had a mastectomy due to cancer and who wrote about how sewing her own clothes helped her coping with it. And although I can’t imagine how horrible this situation has to be, I could relate to Nicki’s feelings towards sewing and her sharing her story comforted me. Hopefully my story can do the same for some of you out there.

My husband and I knew for a while that having kids might be a challenge for us. Family and friends around us kept getting children and we felt left out and lonely from time to time. I had no idea that just being married meant being asked on a weekly basis when you’re finally going to have kids or if you’re pregnant.

Sew Mariefleur How Sewing Saves Me

After a necessary operation a few weeks ago I woke up, hoping that having children would be so much easier now, and was instead told that having children the natural way wouldn’t be an option anymore. I know that regardless of whatever is to come in our future, it’s going to be a long, scary and emotional way until we’re going to be happy with whatever the result might be. It hurts, but I know that sewing is one of the things that is going to carry me through this.

I started sewing around the same time we got married and was totally hooked after sewing just a few garments. At first it was something I needed to do while writing my master thesis – something practical that I could hold in my hands when finished.

Sew Mariefleur How Sewing Saves Me

After a while I got more anxious about not having children and sewing turned into something more. Sewing clothes and presenting them showed to be something I apparently had a talent for, something I got compliments for and something that sat me apart from other people around me. Sewing makes me think of different things and it gives me confidence.

I give myself permission to spend both lots of time and money on buying fabrics, patterns, sewing machines and my blog. I know having children would mean scaling all of this down considerably (and giving up my sewing room) – I’d do that in a heartbeat, but not having children means allowing myself the luxury of spending means and time on this.

Sew Mariefleur How Sewing Saves Me

Wearing garments I made makes me walk around with my head up high and newly won confidence. No one else has this dress, this jacket, these trousers, and just a fraction of the people I meet everyday would be able to make them.

There is nearly no lonely or empty time at home. Being alone during the evenings or not having any plans during the weekend, while everyone else is joining children’s activities is mostly not a sad time, but time given to me to sew even more. My sewing machine is always there and always ready to help me whip up some more pretty things, as is my growing stash which I can use as my personal “free” (it’s free after you bought it, right??) store.

Sew Mariefleur How Sewing Saves Me

I got to know so many of you who are active members of the indie sewing community. I know that we’re just digital friends, but it still means a lot to me. All of you share my biggest interest, you encourage me and everything else going on in my life doesn’t matter. If anything, not having kids makes me a more active blogger and bigger part of the community. I am so thankful to all of you for this.

Sew Mariefleur How Sewing Saves Me

And last but not least – while being at the hospital I talked to a doctor about my sick certificate and she looked at me asking: “You’re a blogger, right?” I was totally flabbergasted, no one had ever recognized me, let alone assumed I make all my money with blogging. I had to disappoint the kind doctor, telling her that I am actually “just” an advisor at the County Governor’s office (a job I absolutely love having!). In the middle of an intimidating hospital, with all of these scary things happening, waiting for an operation I didn’t know the outcome of, talking about sewing and blogging with my doctor made me smile and happy for a while.

That’s how sewing saves me, stitch by stitch, every single day.

Sew Mariefleur How Sewing Saves Me

74 Comments

  1. If I had lived a little bit closer I would have stopped by for a coffee or a glass of wine and a hug!
    Now it is a big digital hug to you. I think it’s wonderful you shared your story and please enjoy your wonderful makes! You’re a brave woman!

  2. Thank you for sharing this intimate piece of your life. While we never know where the road is leading (we can only hope), there are so many joys along the way to be grateful for.
    I’m grateful for your posts, and how they inspire me to keep sewing.

    Blessings to your and your husband, as you build your “best” life together … whatever that turns out to be.

    • Thank you, Brionna! You’re right – we have to try to see all the good things along the way, not just to run after the one good thing we think we need in our lives. I’m sure we’ll find our way, and I’m sure it’s going to be good in many ways.

  3. I love this! It’s amazing how something as “simple” as sewing can save us. You rock. I pray that you’re healing well.

  4. As much as I like to hug you right now, if got the feeling that I should rather hug your sewing machine. Thanks Miss Brother for being there for a dear friend of mine, for helping her to cope with all this – and for saving her from drowning in fabric 😜😂😘

  5. Beautiful words and heart! Thank you for sharing.

  6. This is a beautiful post. I always love reading your sewing posts but it is nice to have a sense who you are as a person too. I’m so sorry that you’re struggling with having children but I am glad that you were brave and open enough to write this and share. I am thrilled to have found your little corner of the web.

    • Thank you so much for your kind comment, Kate, it warms my heart to see how many of you out there care so much. And thank you so much for reading my blog, I really appreciate it!

  7. Thank you for sharing your life with us. I believe it will help someone else.
    Some way or anothe I believe blogging helps a lot of us dealing with “life” and trust me I know how it feels not getting pregnant when and how you wish and I’m glad you are finding a way to deal with it.
    Sending you lots of love xx

    • Thank you so much, Maria! Isn’t it strange how something as “hands-on” as sewing and something purely digital like blogging kind of merge and end up being such a wonderful space for women from around the world to connect with each other? And thank you so much for sharing a little about your personal life, I appreciate it! You often wonder where all these couples having trouble with having kids are when looking at the statistics…

  8. Sewing has saved so many of us. Thank you for sharing your story 🙂

  9. You are not alone. Thank you for sharing this. Sewing saved me too. I was nodding with every sentence.

    I moved to Denver over 10 years ago and had difficulty making friends which was a new experience for me. I discovered my sewing group in 2009 and it has breathed life back into me. I would be very lost without my sewing meetups. I have met some of the most wonderful people. And it renewed my sewing mojo.

    • Thank you so much, Jane! It’s so good to know how many of you out there can identify with my feelings. A year ago or so I read a book, “The Knitting Circle” and I have thought about it a lot. It’s about a woman who loses her daughter, and she barerly manages to get out of bed. She joins a knitting circle and connects through knitting with some of the other women, who all have their heartbreaking stories, too. It reminded me a lot of the sewing community!

  10. Thank you for sharing your story. I don’t have a partner or children and sewing has saved me from being lonely or bored too. There’s always something to be doing. Sending big hugs your way!

    • Thank you so much for sharing a part of your story, Beth! I’m so touched by how many of you are sharing a little about your lives with me. Sewing is kind of like cleaning the house – you’re never done! But sewing is so much more fun… 😉

  11. Thank you so much for sharing, Fleurine! I can’t imagine how hard it has been to work through your emotions and look towards an uncertain future while dealing with this. I’m glad you have the support of your husband and your sewing 🙂 When I am having a hard time, I will often sit and sew for 5 hours straight to take my mind off things. Sharing my work on social media or my blog motivates me and reminds me that there are so many people out there who care <3. Thanks for all the work you put into your blog and all the time your spend helping to test patterns! You are such an important member of this community. 😀

    • Thank you, Helen! I couldn’t agree more with everything you wrote. I’m so glad I got the chance to connect with all of you! And thank you so much for thinking that I’m an important member of the sewing community, I’m very flattered, easpecially hearing this from someone who sews so many amazing things and has such a professional blog!

  12. Thanks for sharing your story with us.
    Regards, Muriel

  13. My heart goes out to you, Fleurine. I, too, am so grateful for sewing to save me from those darker days. And even though I’m largely a lurker in the sewing community, I love that there is a group of people online that are kind and thoughtful and understanding in an era where those qualities often feel hard to find.

    Big giant hugs to all of you.

    • Thank you so much for your kind words, Rita! I feel, too, that the sewing community is a place with especially kind and caring people. I’m so glad I found this little corner of the internet!

  14. Puh, liebste Fleurine – ich weiß nicht, wo ich anfangen soll. Zuallererst: Fühle dich fest gedrückt aus der Ferne, so lang, bis es ein winziges bisschen weniger weh tut.

    Dein Post ist wahnsinnig mutig und wichtig und wahr. Auch bei uns war das Familiewerden eine Herausforderung. Und ich kam von “Das wird nichts mehr” zu “Das wird noch, aber nur unter großem medizischen Einsatz, Intensivstation, und anderem Mist”. Und man, was war ich wütend (!!) und traurig, dass es bei uns nicht so läuft wie bei all den anderen. Was hätte ich gegeben einfach nur sagen zu können: Oh ja, es war ein Versehen, es hat einfach so geklappt und ja, es ist alles gut, bisschen Übelkeit, aber sonst … (Du weißt, was ich meine, oder?)

    Stattdessen habe ich wieder mehr genäht. Und du hast absolut recht, wenn du es als eine Art Therapie beschreibst – denn es gibt einem das gute Gefühl etwas zu können, das gute Gefühl schön und trotz der Probleme mit der Mutterschaft “weiblich” zu sein. Ich wünsche dir deshalb, dass das Nähen dir weiterhin alle erdenkliche Kraft, Lebensmut, Zuversicht, (Selbst-)Vertrauen für deinen/euren weiteren Weg gibt, egal wohin der führt…

    Leider kann ich selbst auf Deutsch nicht ausdrücken, wie sehr ich dir das alles wünsche. Hoffentlich kommt ein bisschen davon dennoch an, fühl dich nochmals fest gedrückt, du Wunderbare,
    Sophie.

    • Liebe Sophie, vielen lieben Dank für deine Worte und danke, dass du einen Teil deines Leben mit mir teilst. Ja, manchmal wird man richtig wütend, wenn die 18-jährige neben an einfach so as versehen schwanger wird und das ein riesen Drama ist. Obwohl ich das natürlich auch verstehe, ungeplant schwanger werden ist ja auch nicht gerade einfach. Aber trotzdem, es fühlt sich einfach ungerecht an.
      Ich kann zu Allem, was du hir schreibst, nur zustimmend nicken. Ja, man kann was! Und über das Thema Weiblichkeit/Mutterschaft und Nähen als “weibliche” Kunst habe ich noch gar nicht so nachdedacht, ich glaube aber, du hast durchaus recht.
      Vielen, vielen herzlichen Dank für deine guten Wünsche, ich bin ganz gerührt, so viele wärmende Worte von jemandem, den ich “nur” digital kenne, zu lesen.
      Liebe Grüsse

      Fleurine

  15. You are very talented in so many ways, sewing, writing, photographing, styling, and who knows what else is there to find out! I have found out, recently, that sometimes there are bad moments that bring us better knowledge of who we are and how strong. I think you are also learning this, and in a very inspiring way. After reading your post I just felt like going home and sew something new to wear tomorrow, instead of worrying about stuff I don’t know is going to happen! So, thank you!

    • Thank you so much for your kind words, Paula! I agree – sometimes we need bad moments to grow or to realize a few things. I, for example, think that I have lived a pretty sheltered life, without any major crisis until now. Living in a loving an functioning family, no sudden deaths of family or friends, no money problems, getting good grates at school and so on. I think this experiences might be able to help me grow as a person and to see life more positive. And in many ways it’s also very reassuring for a marriage to see that you manage to go strong and united through a challenge like this.

  16. I only found your blog recently and I devour every post – you are very talented and you should be so proud of your talent. I sewed sporadically since high school and also like you have suddenly filled the void of not being able to have children with sewing, especially even more now since I’ve found the online sewing community. It has given me a new purpose in life and stops me feeling worthless as a woman for not being able to do what every one else around me does so easily it seems like. Also adding two cats and two dogs all at once to our family as our fur-children. Thanks for your post – it’s nice to know there are others feeling the same way in their lives.

    • Oh, thank you so much, Lynda, you make me blush! And thank you so much for sharing your story with me! I’m glad to hear that sewing gives your life in this difficult situation purpose as well! I haven’t reflected too much about how much we women connect having children to our value as women – you’re not hte only one pointing this out to me after reading my blog post. I think it explains why so many women take it incredibly hard not being able to have children, although many of us might know deep inside us that there plenty of other ways to live a fulfilled life. But it often just doesn’t really feel that way. Thank you again so much for your comment and for reading my blog!

  17. This a beautiful and painful piece of writing. You are right that sewing, and your involvement with the sewing community, will help pull you through. I know it helps me to cope with difficult moments.

    Obviously, you will face different decisions about your lives, but you should know that life can be very fulfilling without children. I’m a lot older than you and don’t have children, but I have been able to throw myself in to relationships with young people, particularly here in Spain, and be there for them in a way that wouldn’t have been possible if I had my own kids. I’ve also been able to travel and do things that would be difficult for parents. Not to mention my surrogate children in the form of 4 dogs and a cat. You may travel a different road than the one you first planned, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t a fun and rewarding one. Keeping sewing and smiling. xx

    • Thank you so much for your kind words, Suzy! I know that you are right – even if we end up never having children we can have a wonderful life, sewing a lot, traveling, go to the theater or the cinema whenever we want and so on. Even though I know all this, it’s sometimes hard to convince your heart of it. But I have definitely no interest in ending up sad and bitter instead of taking all the opportunities I have in life!
      And we have a “surrogate child”, too! Our dog Sara is our baby (although she’s no baby at all with her 22 kilo!) and I don’t feel bad for treating her that way, either. (Obviously without forgetting that she’s a dog, either! A wild 22 kilo dog without any manners would be pretty dangerous! ;-))

  18. There are times when going personal is the right thing to do. Thank you for your story, it makes the connection even better. You are finding the positive in a very difficult and stressful situation. May you continue to sew and grow whatever the future brings. I completely understand the therapeutic value of sewing. During stressful times I find my craft to be just what I need. Please know that your blog provides much information and enjoyment for many.

  19. Big hugs. I don’t have kids either, and although it’s for no medical reason, I do relate to the pressure society seems to put on women. I think after reading your story inreallze that sewing gives us an identity, something that gives us a purpose. If it’s not being a mother (right now) then it’s this. And, you know what, that’s still pretty awesome! Thanks for sharing!

    • Thank you so much, Lindsey! I have to admit that it took me a little of guard when I got married and started being at an age where people expected me to have children. I always expected not having children to be hard, but I didn’t realized how much pressure society puts on women regarding children until I was the “target” of this preasure. And you’re so right – we can build our identities on so much more than being women and mothers!

  20. I love following your sewing journey and I feel the same way about the therapy of sewing and this wonderful online sewing community. We don’t have any of our family around where we live and that means no babysitters so we don’t go out much and when my husband is away for work which is almost every other month I fill my evenings with sewing and checking in with my digital sewing friends. If you’re ever in Sandnes you have to let me know so we can meet up! 😃
    ❤️ You are awesome and I’m sure many good things will come your way ❤️

    • Thank you so much Dagbjørt! As hard as it is not having children, I also can imagine how hard it can be having children without good support around you. I don’t have a lot of friends here in Tromsø, either, since I moved here when I was about 23 years old. And sewing and the sewing community definitely help not feeling lonely! I let you know if I ever make it to Sandnes! I remeber having a room made from Sandnes when I first moved to Tromsø and I never understood him, since the dialecet in Sandnes and in Northern Norway are SO different! =p But luckily I have learned a lot of Norwegian since then… 😉

  21. Oh, Fleurine, thank you for boldly sharing your heart and your story. Sewing has saved so many of us! It’s a steady identity that does not change while others facets do (or don’t). My husband is in the military and we move often. I am always learning a new city, finding new friends, figuring out a new grocery store, looking for a new church, etc…but sewing stays the same. When I became a mom and everything about my day-to-day life changed, sewing stayed the same. It doesn’t fail me. It’s “mine” and it doesn’t change no matter what else is going on in life. Sending big hugs your way! Thank you again for sharing your heart with us.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your story, Alina! Moving around all the time, never truly belonging to one place, seems incredibly hard! I have moved quite a bit, too – but (until moving to Tromsø) it was always temporarily and I always had (and still have) my home in the village in Germany where I grew up. So hat seems a lot easier than all the moves you have to face – especially with kids! I really hope that sewing is always going to be “mine”, too – regardless of how everything else changes – with or without kids, moving or staying in one place, working or not working, blogging or not blogging.

  22. You are wonderful! Thank you for sharing with us 🙂

  23. Sewing is therapy! It fills many different holes for many different people.
    I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Life doesn’t always play out the way you think it will (and sometimes it’s just really shitty and unexpected). Your story is yours, but it might also help someone else to read it.
    We all wish you the best, no matter which way your adventure takes you! ❤️

    • Thank you so much, Brooke! No, life isn’t always as we expect it to be, but luckily there’re many positive surprises, too. I love the motto of your blog! “Enjoying life as a series of beautiful moments” seems to be a wonderful goal to keep in mind while life goes on, taking you in unexpected directions. Thank you for your good wishes!

  24. I am so sorry for your loss… and so sorry you have to go through this. One of the things that resonate with me when I am going through a tough time that it is okay not to be okay. These issues do not take away from an amazing, talented, loving and caring woman that you are. If anything they are allowing you to open up to more love and give more love. Thank you for much for bravely sharing this part of yourself.
    Sewing also helps me get through tough times. It is there for me and the meditative nature of it really helps me concentrate on the moment and process my emotions.
    I am sending you big hugs from the other side of the ocean. If I lived closer I would definitely be up for a coffee or a glass of wine. Thinking of you and sending you all the love!

  25. Thank you for so bravely sharing your story. Sewing is therapeutic in many ways to many of us, I think, no matter how different all of our stories are. It hurts me to read yours, and I wish you the best on your path. Your blog is beautiful and truly inspiring.

  26. Fleurine, thank you for sharing your story, I can only image how hard it was to share. So many of us can relate to loss and how sewing has lifted us when were are down. I hope you feel the love and encouragement from everyone that supports you. We never know what life brings but it’s about the people we love and the connections we have that can get us through it all. I am so happy to know you and to call you my friend! XO

  27. Thank you for sharing your very personal story. I agree, sewing is therapy. It is a way to calm my anxiety-ridden mind down enough to be able to be able to think logically about whatever is causing my anxiety. I mostly only lurk and read, but I wanted to respond and say thank you for sharing.

    {{{{{HUGS}}}}} from Oregon

  28. Hugs to you lady! So encouraging (but not at all surprising) to read that your spirit is as beautiful and positive as the clothing you make!

  29. Hi Fleurine- thank you for sharing your story; that must have been really difficult. I’m so sorry for the pain you’e gone through, but happy that sewing helps you get through it. I agree that sewing is really soothing and almost medicinal. It has a meditative quality to it… sending virtual hugs!

    • Thank you so much, Meg! I’m actually much better than I thought I would be – although not all days are good. But I guess that’s pretty natural. I am amazed by seeing how many of you feel that sewing is a therapy and a way to meditate. It makes me appreciate the art of sewing even more! It’s amazing what stitching together fabric can do for you…

  30. Hi Fleurine, I’ve just started following your blog very recently, and like your sewing projects very very much! I can see and feel how much love you put into what you make! Your story however also touches me on a different level since I can relate to it as well, although by now it seems a far past, and I have 2 beautiful children by now. 7 years ago we also got the news that we wouldn’t have much chance to get a baby in a natural way, which was really very hard te swallow… It’s so hard if a dream, a so vital and important dream, something that seems to come so easy for most of the people around you, just is out of reach all of a sudden. Something that is supposed to be so joyfull, gets to be so painful. So much uncertainties and doubts, and always that big question: will I ever be a mom… I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but I guess I want to tell you you’re not alone in that, as you probably know. But I found it to be such a lonely path too sometimes, so many times I was wondering: where are these other couples, the other ‘1 out of 6’?? And I also want to tell you to hold on, to never stop believing in the miracle that life, especially new life, is. I don’t even mean it religiously, I mean it just for what it is: every new life is a BIG miracle on its own. AND I also want to tell you to never stop believing and hoping that you will live that dream too, one day… .I wish you lots of hope and courage, and I especially wish you that the path to your dream won’t be a long one…
    And last but not least, to get to what you were writing about: I really feel it’s so beautiful that you get so much joy out of the sewing! That you feel like it saves you and/or it makes you feel part of something! I hope you can cherish that feeling!! Your creations matter and you make not only yourself but also other people happy with it! You inspire people! Thank you for sharing your creations AND your story!! I wish you all the luck in the world!!

    • Thank you SO much for sharing your story, Barbara! I am so touched by seeing how many brave women out there have shared their story with me – both here on the blog and in private messages. You’re right – this path does feel lonely sometimes, and your story and the stories others have shared with me makes it less lonely. I feel honoured by the fact that you and others out there let me have part in your lives. I really hope that I’ll feel like you in a couple of years – that these struggles seem to be something from the far past. Right now it feels like this “error” my body has is always going to feel like an error, even though there still might be the possibility of having children, even biological ones, thanks to all the advances in medicine. But I really hope that your story will be mine, too – that all this doesn’t matter anymore. Thank you again so much for sharing – whenever I’ll have a rough day I’ll go back to this blog post and read your kind and caring comments, and I know I’ll feel better.

  31. You are so brave! I am so sorry for your loss. I threw myself into sewing after losing a baby and it really helped me. Big hugs!

  32. Fleurine – your story is so touching and I’m sorry to hear you had to go through that. Sewing really is therapeutic isn’t it. I find that as well. I’ve been sewing quite often lately – I guess I too have needed a good therapy session.

  33. What a beautifully written post, thank you for sharing this private part of your life with us. I’m so sorry that you are going through this difficult time.
    I find sewing amazingly therapeutic as well. I suffer periodically with anxiety and depression and find that sewing forces me away from the less than helpful thoughts and feelings in my head, to focus on something else. And (usually) the end result makes me proud of what I can achieve.

  34. I can’t begin to imagine what you and your husband are going through… And I’m not even going to try conforting you with pointless clichés… All I can do is thank you for sharing such a personnal story! Much love and hugs

  35. Fleurine, even though i knew about this already, i’m having tears in my eyes. I’m so sorry that you’ve to go through this. My sister and her husband couldn’t get kids and i know how terrible it must be to see your plans for life be ruined. I really hope that you’ll find another way to have kids. Until then i’ll do my very best to keep you and your sewing machine occupied with german and english patterns 😊 just always let me know when it gets too much! Xoxo

  36. Thank you for sharing this and I’m so sorry. Your sewing and sharing has brought so much joy to my life. I started sewing when my dad died too soon, too young and it, too, has saved me. So in different circumstances, I empathize with you.

  37. Thank you for sharing, this was really moving! Congratulations on making your life a beautiful, thoughtful, and special one. <3

  38. You are a beautiful human being and that light of your shines bright my sweet friend. <3 Thanks for sharing and continue to make and share with us, we love you! <3

  39. Alex McGinty

    You are so absolutely inspiring Fleurine! My fiance and I are going to be married this coming April and people already ask us all the time when we will have children or if I am pregnant without even knowing how we feel about having kids. It puts so much pressure on a woman to be asked these questions. I am new to the indie sewing community and you have inspired me to start a sewing blog of my own with your beautiful creations and because of the fact that I see a little of myself in you. I feel a little disconnected from many “mommy” bloggers because I just don’t juggle the same daily tasks as them. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. You have touched me in more ways than you know!

  40. Your story really touched me. It is so sad for a young woman to have to deal with this. I learned that life is never how we expected it to be when we are young, and sometimes it is for the better, but only future will tell. So good to know that you found a way to cope with this. Wishing you and your husband all the best!

  41. Oh, how I needed to read this today. I just happened to stumble upon your blog and saw so many beautiful creations and then I read this. My heart really goes out to you because I so know well what you feel. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Never in a million years did I think I/we would be having this issues. What did I do to deserve this? I do most things right. I am by no means perfect, but still: why me? All others around me seem to have no issues at all and happily have kid after kid and fulfil their dreams. Their bodies just work, mine doesn’t. And for no apparent reason either.

    I am really sad today. It’s just one of those days when you feel that hope is especially difficult to conjure. Maybe you had one of those days too when you wrote it. Anyway, I am greatful that you did and greatful that I found it. It didn’t make me happier (of course), but I feel a little bit of a cyberspace support from you and all the lovely comments to your post. Thank you! The sewing community is the best.

    I really hope it works out for you, because I know how it feels.

  42. Dear Fleurine,

    What a beautiful post. I could feel in my own heart the pain of this news and the comfort of the tangible fabric and thread and clothes made by your own hands. I will hold all good thoughts for your future as you work your way through this news. There is so much wisdom and patience and honesty in this post. Your mother (my wonderful German translator, dear friend whom I’ve not yet met in “real life”) sent the link to me. I smiled when I read your comment about “I know we’re just digital friends,” because for years now my digital friends have been “real friend” to me – and now for you too. In my life, during awful times, writing has saved me. I am so glad you are stitch by stitching your way through. All good wishes to you and your husband.

  43. Your post moved me a lot, thank you for sharing your situation. I just had the same news last week and it hurts. The worst part is people asking you when you’ll have kids, or your best friend announcing you she’s pregnant (it just happened to me). You feel happy for her, but sad.

    I, too, find some solace in sewing. It think it is soothing to be able to create something.

    I wish you the best and I thank you for opening your heart. I feel less alone.

  44. This is a beautiful, heartfelt post. Good luck on your journey – I’m happy to have found you on this vast internet.

    Digital hugs.

  45. Hello. I’ve only just discovered your blog so have been catching up on some of your recent posts…this one struck a chord. Like you I couldn’t have children naturally, so really understand the emotional storm that comes with it.

    I wish you well with your journey. We adopted and have two wonderful kids. We say that they were always our babies, just delivered to the wrong address!

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  48. I only came to visit today, after Barbara from the Lilliepawillie blog advised me to read this article. And I’m so happy I did! Your honesty and way of looking are very inspiring. I am 21 and suffering from a chronic illness for about two years now, and lately sewing has been so hard and concentration-demanding that I stopped loving the thing that had given me joy before. Until I read “Sewing Happiness” by Sanae Ishida (just wrote a blog post about it) and recognized that sewing shouldn’t be about the perfect result, but rather about the joy of creating. This book gave me back my sewing vibe. It touches me to read how sewing helps you through some difficult periods in life, and I hope it will do the same for me! I’ll definitely keep your words in my mind, and I wish you all the best with my whole heart!

  49. Knittingprincesstecate

    I just read this through tears for me and tears for you! I know this is an old blog but it’s new to me and strange that I would pick this particular picture to open and then read your blog today of all days! When I’m feeling a bit sad about not having a baby myself! 😢 I’m not alone in why I spend money on yarn and make/knit(mainly) and sew things for myself! Everything you said resonated with me! Thank you! And God bless you! It was NO mere accident me reading this today. Your blog post helped me! Thank you for your transparency!

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